Running is an amazing experience, but sometimes it’s really tough and throws a few curveballs your way. How do you tell yourself to stay positive?
It’s time for a new topic in my Running 101 monthly series! I hope you’ve enjoyed it so far! I’ve previously shared the following Running 101 topics:
- How to Build a Support System as a New Runner
- How to Be Motivated to Run and Train in the Winter
- Essential Gear for Running in the Rain
This month, let’s talk about how to fight your negative inner voice. Believe it or not, this happens to even the most experienced runners. But the good news is that there are strategies to help you maintain your mental toughness!
I’m linking up with Marcia, Patty, and Erika for Tuesdays on the Run, Susie, Debbie, Lora, and Rachel for the Running Coaches Corner and Annmarie, Nicole, and Jen for Wild Workout Wednesday!
[bctt tweet=”Learn how to fight your negativity as a #runner with these tips! #runchat” username=”Janelle_RWNR”]
Tips to Fight Your Inner Negative Voice
Have you ever said these things about yourself as a runner?
- “I’m not fast enough”
- “I’ll never get that BQ”
- “I work harder than everyone else…it isn’t fair!”
- “I’ll never get back to where I was before my injury”
I’ve said so many of these types of things. I started my running journey in 2011, and since then, I’ve had many moments of self-doubt. Sometimes it’s fleeting, and sometimes it stays with me for a long time. But as I continue to grow as a runner from training, running races, and connecting with others, I’m realizing how harmful the negativity can be and how it’s just not worth it to dwell on things you can’t control. So the good news is that while challenges are part of any running journey, you don’t have to let it hold you back. Here are my tips on fighting that negative inner voice! Trust me when I say it’s a work in progress!
Acknowledge That You’re Being Negative
Have you ever heard the phrase, “you’re doing it again”? When it comes to running, I’ve had to be called out by friends on many occasions about being too negative. Ask Bret, and he’ll have many examples to share! Just last week, we went for a run during a delightful heat wave (read: sarcasm) where it was still over 80 degrees after 7 pm. I really wanted to go on a particular shaded trail but he ended up taking us on a different path. I was really annoyed about the whole thing and I almost let my negative inner voice ruin the experience. Fortunately, I was able to give myself a mental pep talk, embrace the run, and we ended up on the path I wanted to go on anyway. It all worked out, though it was a really draining run in the heat!
When it comes to running challenges, you have to be able to check yourself and realize when you’re being way too hard on yourself. Are your concerns legitimate, or are you just complaining? There is a difference! Is it me, or does it seem that a lot of runners are perfectionists? The problem with that is that sometimes our expectations are too high or completely unreasonable, and you end up setting yourself up for disappointment!
When it comes to negativity, if you realize you’re “doing it again”, acknowledge it, assess it, and move forward!
Focus On Your Own Journey
This is one of my biggest tips for runners, especially if you’re a beginner. The biggest trap that you can fall into is comparing yourself to other people. Honestly, I struggle with this more often than I care to admit. And when you’re a blogger, it’s even harder not to compare yourself to others. But even though it’s difficult, it isn’t impossible to fight this kind of negativity with the right focus and perspective.
I’ve been running for over 6 years, but does that mean I should be a faster runner or a “better” runner than someone who started running 2 years ago? No. And really, what difference does it make either way? I had to “check myself” recently while reading another runner’s blog in the Philly running community. She talked about how she is relatively new to running and gave an update on how her races have progressed over the past several months. You can bet that my green-eyed monster came out to play. She was knocking out PR’s left and right, running easily in the 8-minute range even for longer distances. If only! Then at the end of the post, she mentioned consistently running over 130 miles a month. Oh. Do see now why comparing yourself to other runners is silly?
Running is very individual, especially at the non-elite level. You don’t know other people’s running backgrounds, physical strengths, genetic dispositions, or their struggles. And really, it doesn’t matter. Running is about YOU – it’s something for you to enjoy as a meditation, a workout, or just another challenge. Running is about your personal growth, and what other people do has no bearing on your success.
If you want to be a miserable runner, obsess over what everyone else is doing. If not – focus on your own goals and achievements. Remember how far you’ve come!
Talk to Those Who “Get It”
When it comes to having negative feelings about running, you’re not alone. But I bet if you tried to talk to a non-runner about it, they just wouldn’t get it. Running is like that sometimes – you need your own people who “get you”.
That’s why it’s great to be part of a running community. You can seek/provide support for/to like-minded individuals who know what it’s like to get injured, to plateau or slow down over time, to have those moments of feeling “less-than”. I’ve shared some tips on how to find a running support system, but when it comes to the negative stuff, it’s really important to find people that have been in your running shoes.
Run215 was a huge Facebook running group for Philly runners that was great for these types of situations, but unfortunately, it was recently closed down in favor of its Facebook page and other social media channels. But there are still so many other resources out there. Google is your friend!
And I am a huge fan of checking out running groups in your community. My goal this summer is to get back on the running club circuit and connect with more of “my people”! The benefits of running groups are countless!
If you ever need to vent about running, find runners that you can connect to either in person or online! You can shoot me a message anytime!
Remember the Big Picture
Running is a gift! It’s a blessing to be able to do what we do, at any pace! We all have those bad days, and even those bad months and years, and if you’re not exactly where you want to be, IT IS OKAY.
Having negative feelings is completely natural, but dwelling on the negativity can be toxic and hold you back. Continue to work hard with your running, learn how to trust yourself and build your self-confidence. Be patient with your progress – it takes time! And don’t give up when things get tough. Running will teach you many life lessons…and it’s worth it, even with the ups and downs!
Have you ever struggled to stay positive when it comes to your running/racing? What did you do to get through it?
Really, really great tips!I agree that the biggest trap is comparing yourself to other runners. Every runner has his/her own journey. When I first started running, I thought that I had to log an insane amount of miles to be considered a “real runner” because I saw other runners that were doing it. Well my body doesn’t respond well to a whole bunch of miles, but it does like strength training, so I had to find a balance.
That’s another good point – some people run over 100 miles a month, and unless I’m marathon training, that just isn’t going to be me – I need to be able to do other workouts! So many ways to skin the cat, neither method is wrong!
When ever I think badly about myself, I try to picture saying it to someone else and I immediately shut myself up.
Ooh that’s a great way to check yourself, I’ll have to try that!
These are great tips! I really like the one about focusing on the big picture. That is definitely what helps me when I get too bogged down with negative thoughts. And remembering that it’s ok to step away for a bit if needed.
Thanks, Chaitali! I definitely agree that stepping away can help provide perspective.
My favorite thing to tell people who are being very hard on themselves is “What would your 90 year old future self think if she heard you whining and wishing?” I’ll bet she’d want you to own your awesome right now and make the most of it because tomorrow is guaranteed to nobody. This is a great discussion!
I love that pep talk. I need to remember that the next time I start whining! Thanks, Marcia!
I’ve really been working on tackling some of the negative self talk the past few months. I’ve made progress but I still have a long way to go
It’s always a process – writing this post has helped me realize I need to keep at it!
All good things to remember even if you didn’t just start running.
Those negative thoughts always seem to creep in our heads: “She’s older than me. Why is she faster?”
The I have to think: “I am older than xyz runner and I am faster.”
Oh yeah, age comparison is definitely a thing too – from both ends of the spectrum!
Everything you said is so true! The biggest thief of running joy is the ugly comparison thing we all do. Like you said, none of us have the same genetics, setting, schedule, or drive…and it would be a pretty boring world if we all did this running thing the exact same way LOL
Thanks, Kimberly! Comparing ourselves to others is a COMPLETE waste! We all just need to do what we can in our own way and focus on that!
You know I always say that we are our worst critique. We have to stop comparing ourselves to others and just compare from where we started in our running journey and know that every race is not going to be a PR and that we run because we enjoy it, not to win or set any records! If that was the case, I think we would all stop! Be proud of your own accomplishments whether they are big or small!
Argh, always so hard on ourselves…and in the grand scheme of things, it’s so silly! Running should bring us joy, not extra stress! Totally agreed.
I love this post so much! This topic is near and dear to me, as it’s something I’ve struggled with for so long. I remember how proud I was of my first 5K because I ran 3.1 miles without stopping. I had no idea what was considered a fast or a slow pace at that point. I was just happy and proud. Once I did (you’re right–being a blogger puts you right in the thick of seeing how much faster or slower others are), the negativity started. But I’ve been working on it and getting better. Your post motivates me to keep up the positivity. I love this especially: “If you want to be a miserable runner, obsess over what everyone else is doing. If not – focus on your own goals and achievements.” Thanks for such a great post!
I’m so glad you enjoyed this post, Jennifer! Pushing away the negativity is something that I have to do on a pretty regular basis, especially when it comes to where I am pace-wise. We have too much to be thankful for to worry about things we can’t control!
I love your Running 101 series! Such great tips for new runners (and for not-so-new ones too)!
It’s so easy to let that negative voice slip in from time to time. Great tips for managing it.
Thanks so much, Debbie! It’s been fun coming up with a new topic each month. I hope it helps new and seasoned runners!
So much good advice here! I especially agree with your point about not comparing yourself to others – so hard not to do sometimes, but no good ever comes of it!
Thanks, Michelle! The comparison trap is my biggest weakness!
We are the hardest on ourselves. I think that is so important to realize and really take to heart. Combat every negative thought with a positive one!
Right on! There is so much more to be grateful for than upset about!
This is such a great post and great reminder as to why the running community really rocks. You’re right that you have to talk to people who “get it”. While I try not to be negative, the times that I do talking to my running friends really does help. I also have a client who I think only has a negative voice – I have been trying to get her out of her own head, maybe sending her this to read will help <3
I’m glad you liked the post, Annmarie – please feel free to share it! It can be all too easy to get sucked into negativity when it comes to running…sometimes we just need a friend to snap us out of it!
I love this post! The mental piece is crucial in our training but often overlooked. Simply switching your attitude can make a huge difference in your training potential!
Thanks, Laura! The right attitude makes a huge difference!